detectivanilla:

percymyjackson:

So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great.
And today he was like
“I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!”
And showed us this…

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES

(via margaritamitsie)

Timestamp: 1406269333

miss-zarves:

i changed my okcupid profile to say “you should message me if you know any good jokes about giraffes” and someone responded “you, a baby, and a giraffe walked into a bar, and then you walked out with me! ;) ;)” and i’m so angry because that doesn’t even make sense, there is ZERO adherence to structural joke norms, why the fuck is the baby there? did we leave the baby at the bar? jesus christ, did we fucking leave the baby with the fucking giraffe, that is NOT RESPONSIBLE

(Source: kristyskrushers, via searchbeauty)

anchored-in-l0ve:

deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift

or on a park bench

Timestamp: 1406165896

This photograph is worth 1000 times more than a picture of a bottle of nail varnish or food etc. Only about 10 of my followers will reblog this, and the rest will not. It won’t spoil your blog. God bless him!

(via redunicornfromspace)

Timestamp: 1406159466

lennydotdotdot:

I did not know that I needed to see this.

(Source: whiny-sugar-glider, via redunicornfromspace)

Timestamp: 1406159299

18th century poesy ring.
Inscription reads: Many are the stars I see but in my eye no star like thee.

(Source: yseult, via melb0urne)

Timestamp: 1406159036

basementdemo:

my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed 

(via making-lovefaces)

Timestamp: 1406110265

sexaulity:

This scene satisfied me in a way no man ever could.

(via unholymischief)

Timestamp: 1406109702

sluttyoliveoil:

life hack

(Source: poyzn, via plantdance)

Timestamp: 1406096458

capslockapocalypse:

zanetehaiden:

Imagine if we lived in a world where you could see the exact date when everyone is going to die except for yourself

And then one day people start acting nice to you. Like, really nice.

WRITE.
A STORY.

(Source: zanetheaiden, via s-h-i-n-eeeee)